And long after her little-girl dreams of a hero to sweep her off her feet… beyond her longings to be desired and to be romanced… ultimately, she {most women} longs for a husband.

For one man to love more than life itself. One man to adventure with the rest of her days. One man to come home to; one man to belong to.

Some of you will balk at that word “belong.” We belong to no one! But I use it in the best, sweetest, gentlest way possible. I love knowing that I belong to my husband – that he is responsible to look out for me, to protect me, to have my best at heart. And I am responsible to do the same for him.

And after all, the Word of God says,

“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:4)

wedding-551Sounds much like belonging to me. But arguments of wording aside.

I think we naturally long for marriage because it’s part of our God-glorifying purpose, a reflection of a story far beyond ourselves. God Himself lives in perfect, blissful, holy communion within Himself – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Created in His image, we are designed with a need for this same type of companionship. The Lord, so wisely and creatively, crafted marriage between a man and a woman to be a reflection of Him and of His relationship with us. He created it to fill a void in us and to remind us of Him. The joy, the holiness, the covenant, and the intimacy of marriage is just a taste of an eternal relationship with Jesus.

So, single sister, hear me when I say: it is not wrong that you desire marriage. It is not sinful that you want a husband. Unless the Lord has expressly told you that He wants you single for all your days, then that desire is God-given and good. The feminists may tell you that you don’t need a man, and many well-meaning people may urge you to focus on your education or career, and don’t worry about finding a husband right now. I’m here to tell you that God wove that desire into the threads of your heart, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of it.

I know some will disagree with me that all {or most} women desire marriage. Some will say they are called to singleness, or they are perfectly content unmarried. Others might call me out for being old-fashioned or sexist, assuming every woman wants to get married. That’s fine. Maybe they’re right.

Because let me say, I have total respect for you, women who are following the Lord in a lifewedding-491 of singleness, willing to be content with Him alone, not basing your value on marital status. That is a beautiful thing, and God will use you in mighty ways without your interests divided.

But… I have also seen women hide behind such claims, using the statements “I don’t need a man” or “I don’t want to get married” to disguise their fear of commitment or the pain they have suffered at the hands of selfish men. Yet inside these women’s hearts – if they’re willing to look deep enough – behind the callouses, that small flame of longing is still flickering. Despite the fear and shame, she still wonders if there is a man who would truly love and cherish her. Though she’d never admit it, she still holds to a thread of that longing to be a wife – to fully give herself to one man who would not hurt her. If that is you, friend, take courage. All men are not the same…and you are worthy of love. 

I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on this topic, whether you agree or disagree. Would you leave a comment and tell us what you think? Share your experience?

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