My husband and I just returned home from 6 weeks of traveling all over the U.S. It was fun, exhausting, and wonderful – we got to see many people we love – and now it’s really good to be home. Home to our own bed, all the familiar things, and the ability to cook whatever we want for dinner 🙂

But the flip side? Now that we’re back home and all the traveling excitement is over, I have to face the fact that it’s February. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I got this text from a dear friend a few days ago:

“You’ve been on my mind today. I know this month would have been baby’s due date, and I want you to know I’m praying for you.”

I’ve really been trying not to think about it. But I have no excuse anymore. It’s time to face it.

February would have been the month our first baby was due, if we hadn’t lost him or her to a miscarriage back in June.

February would have been a month of joyful celebration and new beginnings. If only.

To be honest, I’m starting to wonder if February is just a month of death. Six years ago, my friend Jenny turned 19 years old the first week of February, and then died in a car crash a week later. Today, another friend shared that several Februarys ago was when her mom passed away, and this month is still difficult for her every year. And now, this month is a reminder of our loss – our baby who was never born.

I know it really has nothing to do with the calendar. We all have our heartaches, our stories of loss and grief, and they can happen any month, any day. But for me, February is starting to sting.

For you, maybe it’s not even a big loss that’s hurting your heart. Maybe instead, it’s a lack – a lack of something you really want. It’s February, after all, the month of hearts and roses and chocolates. And maybe you’re facing it alone…again. Or maybe something else is creating a hole in your life, something else you’ve been hoping and praying for.

So where is our hope? Where do we get our courage to face this month, despite the pain? How do we – Jenny’s family, my friend who’s missing her mom, and my husband and I – face February, when it has taken so much from us? How do you face whatever haunts you, whatever month it might be?

This morning I read through Isaiah 42, and right now I’m coming back to this verse:

“Behold, the former things
have come to pass;
Now I declare new things.”
Isaiah 42:9

We’re always going to remember these painful losses. Certain people, places, songs, smells, or days on the calendar will always remind us of the grief. But we don’t have to

My sister gave me this “mother” figurine, a sweet gift to remember my baby. Img credit:

dwell in it.

Repeatedly, God tells us not to abide in the past, but to look for the new things He is doing. To keep walking forward. To keep praising Him; to keep trusting Him. To know that He is God. He tells us that He is planning things far greater than we can think up in our imaginations (1 Corinthians 2:9)! He also tells us that He holds all of our tears as we grieve (Psalm 56:8).

We have a good, loving God… that is where our hope comes from.

We have a God who heals and redeems… and that is why we can face today, tomorrow, and next week.

He makes all things new.

2 thoughts on “Facing February

  1. Your due date has been on my mind this week, too. You are both in my prayers, that God would fill your hearts with His overwhelming love and comfort, and His hope. You are a blessing and witness to His goodness in pain. I love you.

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