Let’s be honest: this world is not a friendly place toward women. It never has been. I’m not a feminist, but there’s no denying that from the beginning of time, women have been subdued, oppressed, mistreated. Has there ever been a time or a culture in history when women could say they felt truly and completely secure in their world? Not that I’m aware of. Recent national-headline-conversations about rape culture just highlight this oppression.
In light of this, I think one of the big things we long for as women is a sense of safety and security. This comes under two headings: physical security and emotional security.
Yesterday’s post was about our homes, our living spaces, and how important they are to us. Really, this is part of our need for security – a healthy home, a safe place for our families, a shelter from the world.
Before we were married, my husband lived in a variety of unique arrangements: an apartment that shared a bathroom with the neighbors, a house with several other guys, the back of his truck… As a single guy, the security of a home wasn’t that important to him. When he and I began our relationship, however, he knew it was necessary to seek a suitable home for the two of us. As I moved across the country to a new life as a newlywed, himself and our home would be my ‘safe zone’ as I adjusted to the newness.
Secondly, in regards to physical security – how else do I say it but, rape culture is a real thing. You and I, as women, live in a world where we have to be constantly aware of our surroundings and on the lookout for harm that would victimize us just because we are female. Most of us have felt that tightness in our throats when we cross a dark parking lot alone, glance over our shoulders while walking at the park, or try to avoid eye contact with the strange man staring at us.
Because of this culture we live in, we women long to feel safe. Some of us take self-defense classes or carry pepper spray. Many of us trust the men at our sides – dads, husbands, brothers, friends – to protect us. This, in fact, is part of their role as a godly man… to be a protector.
This could also be called “Relational Security.” When we say a man of God is called to be a protector, this means physically, of course, but it also means protecting her heart. Being gentle with her emotions. We as girls need to know that our relationships – with other women but perhaps especially with our men – are a safe place, a place we can share our hearts without fear of ridicule or abuse. We know the world is not a safe place for our hearts… that’s why we need relationships that are a safe haven, a place we feel supported and secure. Naturally, not every acquaintanceship will be this way, but it’s so important that our key relationships are.
What are your thoughts on this?