This is a big switching-of-gears, at least in my head, from the last few days talking about our friendships with other women, to begin exploring the longings of our feminine hearts regarding men.
Men – we all have different reactions to that word. Some of us, in men, find close friends who feel we can get along with even better than with women. Others find men confusing, bewildering, and frustrating. Some of us see all men as potentials – potential boyfriends, husbands, or lovers. Still others fear men or want nothing to do with them, associating them with nothing but pain and shame.
Sisters, whatever our outlook toward the opposite sex, I would venture to say that there is a longing, somewhere in the recesses of our souls, to be desired by a man. Yes, to be beautiful. But also to be wanted. Desirable. Captivating.
Why else do we choose clothing that accentuates the best parts of our bodies?
Why do we color our faces with smoky eyes and shimmery lips?
Why do we wear a swimsuit that shows our belly, or shorts that make our legs look longer?
Why do we shyly buy lingerie for our wedding night?
Why do we act the way we act around a guy we find attractive?
Why – as annoyed as we may act about it – do we secretly enjoy being flirted with?
(Please note, I’m not saying any of the above is right or wrong. I simply want to propose that these things we women do are evidence of our longing to be desired.)
There is nothing inherently sinful in this longing, though sin can easily arise from it. A woman is designed to be loved, desired, enjoyed, and delighted in by a man – a man who deeply cares for her, a man who is her husband. So it’s only natural that her heart would search for that fulfillment.
But sometimes we search for it in the wrong places and the wrong ways. Don’t we? We may go out looking to fulfill this longing of our hearts by being immodest or promiscuous. Or we become someone who is not truly us, trying so hard to be desirable.
Sweet girl, let me tell you something: for the right man, you will not have to try hard to be desirable. You will not have to wear revealing clothes or do your makeup some special way to win his attention. He will desire you because you are you.
Because here’s something else: being desirable, being captivating, starts in your soul. It blooms from the deep parts of who you are. You have an intriguing mystery about you that is an essential part of being a woman. And your personality, your joy, your passion, your laugh…. it all bubbles to the surface, spilling out and making you more beautiful and desirable to the one who has fallen – or is falling – in love with you.
Yes, your hair or your eyes or your body might be the first thing he notices. And those attributes can make you desirable for a moment, to any guy. But who wants to only be wanted for a moment, like the latest gadget that will be outdated in a few months? The desire that lasts, the man who will crave you, delight in you, and be captivated by your mystery for years to come… he will see beyond your appearance to the beauty of your soul.