It seems like we should begin here, with love, because it is one of the greatest and most central needs, of not just women, but humanity as a whole. The need for love is a basic, raw need we all have.
And I’m not just talking about romantic love, although that’s certainly part of it. Speaking in general terms, we all need to know that someone cares – to know we are loved.
Why? I wonder if perhaps it’s because our God is love.
- “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
- “Let us love one another, for love is from God…God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8
- “The fruit of the Spirit is love…” Galatians 5:22
- “…to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.” Ephesians 3:19
He, the God of endless love, created us to live in a perfect love relationship with Him and with each other. It’s woven into the DNA of humanity, this thirst to be loved.
And girls… we desire love in a different, deeper way than guys do.
Have you ever read the book Love and Respect? The main idea there is that women need love, and men need respect. Generalized? Maybe a little. Of course both sexes need both things. But check out what the authors have to say:
Research reveals that during marital conflict, a husband most often reacts unlovingly when feeling disrespected, and a wife reacts disrespectfully when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people the question, “When you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?” 83% of the men said “disrespected” and 72% of the women said “unloved.”
The majority vote shows that we, as women, have a unique need to feel loved – perhaps in a deeper or different way than men do.
We need to feel that our husband or boyfriend loves us unconditionally. We even want to know that our future husband is already in love with us as his future wife…right?! But even beyond those relationships, we have a longing to feel loved by those around us – by our parents, by our friends, by someone. To know that assurance of being seen, esteemed, cared for, held. Loved.
And we go looking for it, don’t we? Often our search is disguised as an effort to be popular, to be accepted, or to be the best girlfriend we can be… but underneath that is really a desire to be loved.
Let’s not forget, when we’re thirsty for love, to run to Love Himself. His love is constant and unconditional. He will satisfy when no one else can.