It’s Mother’s Day.

Today (even though I’m working) I’m wearing one of my favorite shirts, because it makes me smile and I feel pretty.

Today I’m wearing my necklace I got in memory of my baby.

Today I’m reading lots of texts from sweet friends, letting me know they are thinking of me and praying for me on what might be a difficult day. And I’m so, so immensely grateful for each one of them and their love for me.

Today I’m thankful for my mama, my grandmas, my sister who is now a mom, and a few other ladies who have been wonderful and motherly in my life.

Today I’m lifting up silent prayers for my cysters and other beautiful ladies I know who have lost babies, or are struggling to have one.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I would feel today… whether I would be peaceful, indifferent, melancholy, or a total wreck. It’s still morning, so who knows, I might hit all of those stages before the day is over. But overall, I feel what I’ve felt for the past few days – grateful for hope. 

This winter I got to hear Annie F. Downs speak at a conference, and she said: “Hope is expensive. Hope is not a fruit of the Spirit – it comes through trial and perseverance.” I have found this to be so true. This week I’ve been reflecting on the wonder it is to possess hope, and how kind my Heavenly Father is to allow me to keep on hoping.

Because hope keeps us going. Some days, when you’re walking a rocky road to motherhood, it can be difficult to keep hope alive, and on those days, you just want to lie on the floor and cry. The world is dull and you feel lifeless.

But when there is hope alive and beating in your heart, then… even though there may be sadness, grief, confusion, or frustration… even though plans and expectations might (and probably will) fall through… that hope is a force that keeps you walking forward.

Keeps you getting up in the morning.
Keeps you looking to the Lord and praising Him.
Keeps you making the plans and entrusting them to Him.
Keeps you smiling, believing that life is still good even when it hurts.

So this Mother’s Day, yes, there’s a sadness in my heart for the children I’m not snuggling today. Yes, I’ll probably stay off Facebook for the rest of the day. But I’m thankful… thankful to have hope for the future and thankful that no matter what, the hope God gives me is eternal.

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